Rocky road

                               

                           Rocky road !!!!!

     "To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.  " 

                                   - Winston Churchill. 

     

                              It's been a bad year - that's what people say but if we really think about it, is it? For me personally, not. This year was slow -agreed but not bad. At least not for me. After 5 years of non-stop struggling and encountering unpleasant incidents, it was like a break.  Mentally and physically.  I never got a chance to sit down and watch my life playing like a movie. And no I am not talking about old photos but about my experiences, success, failures and especially life lessons. I understood lessons but never worked on them. I never thought what's wrong with me? Why I am struggling and stressing so much?

     

                   These 5 years was like a taped loop, the same thing again and again. This year was like a year gap to figure out things for me. Looking back and applying different strategies for my growth and development. This situation made me, close my eyes and see through my past encounters. The result is a little horrific, the wave of " that's not true, I couldn't get it " did pass not a while ago. ANXIETY-   I found out. I stress and worry about and everything that comes across me. I mean now I'm stressing about anxiety! Is it major or minor? Is it bad or normal? Is it ok or not? People are going to judge me? Well, I am socially awkward too. Is that going to worsen the situation? Usually, I am not afraid to talk with strangers but with my own social group. It's bizarre that I think about the " talk "  I had with my friends and the social group than that of strangers. I not only think before speaking but after the whole ordeal too. the encounter goes like a hula loop that goes round and round in my mind for days. Thinking about worse and better.  

   

                  This year was wired in a good way. I not only found myself but implemented new habits as much as possible. Time management has been a core problem for past years, and I kindly fix this situation by starting with small to big every day. Well, I started exercising too. Which is so not me.!! 

       

     Well, this anxiety, social pressure, time management and my goals are my achievements this year. Goals are little personal to open up today. But someday I will. 

Ps: I am bad at ending 😅